11:18 PM

I am now working for only 2 weeks. At first, I really love the idea that I will be on nursing administration. It was my plan before to take masters, major in nrs admin. Now I work as an admin assistant on a private duty nursing agency. I actually went there to apply as a private duty nurse, but since there's no hiring, she offered me this position.

And story goes on.

Tomorrow, it would be officially the end of my 2nd week. I guess I'll have my 1st ever salary next week. But that's not the point of this rant.

I work in the office within the office hours, 8am-5pm. I answer calls, deck nursers (just like booking for GROs), receive new patients. At the same time, I prepare the documents needed like the requirements for accreditation of nurses in a well known hospital. Basically these 2 different work should be done by 2 different person. But since the position is not yet filled, I perform the 2 duties.

I don't have any problem with the documentations, I'm kinda experienced with it.
But dang, this decking, it's killing me. I should be on call 24/7.

I answer calls/text messages from our nurses asking for their day-off and look for their reliever.
I call each nurses and try to look for available ones.
I answer calls from the clients who wants to hire a private nurse.

The moment I reach home, I still need to answer their text messages, clients' request, and look for nurses, especially those who are urgent.

Saturday and Sunday should be a rest day. But I will spend it doing the decking job again.
When I'm sleeping, it's possible someone will call me and I have to entertain it.

Yet, all I receive is the minimum wage plus allowance.
I don't have any complains regarding my salary.
What pissed me is that I don't have time to rest.
Ok, my boss told me I have the privilege to be late and to go home early.
But then, what if there will be calls?

Shitman, I was thinking about it over and over again. I somewhat can handle stress, but this kind of job, be on call 24/7, without someone to relieve me.

If our nurses have 1 or 2 days off, why can't I have one.
I haven't asked this to my boss.
But I really need someone to do the decking every weekends. Coz I need to have time to refresh my mind.

Dang!!! Yesterday I cried. Someone called us around 4pm, asking for a nurse to be on duty at 6pm. It was raining hard yesterday, many declined the duty. I don't know what to do. I was still calling nurses while I was on the jeepney and tricycle.

Another problem of mine are the nurses who are so demanding. I want to shoot them seriously.

My mom used to tell me workloads are just there in your table, they will never leave. But she can rest while she's at home and during weekends. Me, I don't know.


I now hate ringing phones, I hate text messages from nurses, I hate ringing phone that no one answers. I hate these papers I always bring home. I hate these 2 mobile phones the office gave me.

I seriously want to resign.
But I am a person that never give up.
Now, I wish I will collapse or be sick.

Dang!!! I hate this life. It's worst than making our school thesis and reviewing for board exam.

What will happen to me, that I don't know. I'll just pray God will guide me, please...